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Two little princesses dancing in the room,

Spinning fast and freely on their little toes...

Where the light will take you...

You may never�know,

Two little princesses dancing in the room...

Sportygirl15

I don't know what I want to do anymore. I'm miserable about 50% of the time, happy about 25%, and ehhh the other 25%. I hate responsibility -- paying all my bills, working 25-30 hours a week, going to school 15 hours a week, food shopping, taking care of my apartment, not having near enough fun. The day-in, day-out routine has gotten so old. It was old a week into it. If I could work just because I wanted to, then it'd be great, but just simply because I HAVE to work, I hate it. It's not so much that it's stressful (it used to be) as much as it's just annoying. When I'm at work I can't be home, I can't be relaxing, I can't be enjoying my life the way I want to. But honestly, how do I really want to enjoy it? I couldn't tell you. And that's depressing. I don't know what I want. I tell my boyfriend I want alone time, but 5 seconds later I say what I want is to go out and have fun. Truth be told... I don't know. I kind of feel smothered. But it's totally my fault. I have it in my head that I don't want to leave the apartment by myself (to go tanning, window shop, get my eyebrows waxed, go out to lunch with a friend, etc) because I feel bad that I have to leave my boyfriend for even longer (he's usually home alone when I'm at work) but really, I don't want to leave him by himself for more reasons than that. I feel bad leaving him alone because I pity him since all his friends live so far away now, and because I'm jealous that he'll get even more time by himself, and because I'm insecure and don't like not knowing what he's doing. I have thought about suicide probably once a day for 5 out of every 7 days for the past couple of months. I don't think I'd ever actually do it, though, because I know it would hurt so many people and while�I'm not fully happy with my life most of the time, I'm not ready to die over it because I've got this hope in the back of my head that it might possibly get better at some point.�

Some background:
I'm 19 years old, I live in an apartment with my boyfriend who is also 19. I don't have any monetary support from my family. I don't really have anyone I'd consider a close/ best friend except for my boyfriend. He's totally supportive of everything I do. I have no real hobbies except being a control freak. I don't talk to my parents.. my mom pretends I don't exist and my dad plays games with my emotions so I removed myself from that situation and now I'm on my own financially and whatever other ways there are. Need more info?�Ask.

What I want from you (anyone who reads this):
Share your story -- similar or not. Comment on my half-story (it's too long to tell it all, sorry). Show me support, tell me I'm an idiot, whatever you feel when you read this.

went absolutely amazing. i had a great time with him. he made me so incredibly happy. so, him and his dad picked me up at my house around 1 (he got his license that morning with his dad, so his dad was still with him). anyways, then we went to his house and watched the pacifier. it was stupid, and i hated it, but i loved being with him :). we started out on complete opposite sides of the couch and ended up holding hands and he had his arm around me. :D. then his family showed me around his house (he has 8 brothers and sisters and two parents), him and i weren't allowed downstairs in his room. [[which i found really funny]]. then him and i went outside and we played basketball for a little while, and i felt really ugly because my (once was) beautiful hair, turned into ugly hair all over the place. and then we hung out in his backyard with his little brother, and we shot airsoft guns. it was alot of fun. he kept hugging me like non-stop, and his little siblings kept looking at us. and i HATE being taller than him! (but at least it's not that much). and we held hands alot too. and we walked around his house talking about random stuff (ik, this sounds really boring, but i had a great time). and when i was about to leave, he hugged me, and then we looked into each other's eyes and my heart was racing more than it ever has. and i thought that we were going to kiss, but he then hugged me. which sounds insanely boring and stupid, but it was amazing anyways. :).

i had a great time with him.
he makes me really happy.
:D

He asked me out, I said yes.

I guess it has'nt hit me yet. Puccy15 would no... with things like this I tend to react well SLOWLY! �tehehehe.

Meh! im bored right now... like really bored. I've ran out of ideas for poems.... So anyone got any ideas? Cause I could use some inspiration. Did I spell that wrong? "inspiration"� What to write about.....?

Well if you have any ideas let me know, k? lol. Grrr!�my sister Kristin is getting on my very last nerve!.

Justice help me! I�think I might finally crack for real �which would not be a good thing for anyone who may know me... JK!!! I've been loosing my sanity for awhile now... Kinda sad really. Im listing to Buckcherry thier one song called "Sorry" I love that song....

Dont you just like totally love my blue paragraphs? Thier B-E-A-U-TIFULL!!!! ahahha�And yes to anyone who may be reading this, I am a 'lil bit slapp happy

OMFG!!!!!! Britiney spears is on the radio!! her newest song: If U Seek Amy... I�totally �that song! its like amazing. I know what your thinking �You more or less like.. "Holly cow! this chick is a freaking spaze!!!!" Its ok, I was already aware of that...

"love me hate me, say what you want about me, All of the boy and all of the girls are beging to, if you seek amy...."���������� Hmmmm, I�love that song, tehehe, well I've run out of things to write about so yeah...

****Dont forget to give me ideas for a new poem or to, ok? cause I need some inspiration!!! lol, thank-you*

What is it about love that makes us so happy? Is it cuz we just are? Is it cuz we wany 2 be but deep down we realy dont care and we no weir just gonna get our hearts broken? Or is iy that every morning we can wake up and say oh they'll be there 4 me 4 ever!!!? Well per sonal i think its cuz eep down i think all my friends are just trying 2 act older( dont forget im 13) and it bugs me on y. I had 2 grow up 2 fast 4 reansins i caint explain and now that i finaly dont have 2 i want 2 be a kid again, and whear colored tights and converse with to-tos without some1 calling me dumb!i want 2 run around and get dizzy without pepole saying im retarted.I want 2 have pre-k love and kids not care! I want 2 now how 2 be a kid again. But most of all i want 2 love without heart breaks cuz thats the kind of love kids have!

�������� Jewels101 AKA�heart berakpeac girl

We don't remember days we remebmer moments. shakspere